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It is Okay not to Do It as Everybody

Written by  Monday, 05 May 2014 00:00

I’m not sure if this season is summer or still winter. It is crazy down here. When we officially claim the coming of summer and say “Goodbye” to winter, we find winter excusing itself back into the game again. So it is kind of confusing if you know what I mean. 

Well, who can tell the weather to follow our calendar? No one but God! So, I leave that to the One who knows what He is doing with the weather while I go back to my reason I sat down here now to write this.

For some reason this morning, the worm and breeze weather reminded me of the day I wore a wedding gown. 

I didn’t wear a wedding gown as many people do, on a wedding day. No, I didn’t. 

I came to the US for one reason only and that was to be with the man I love. The problem was I was a new convert to Christianity (born-again Christian) and my man was in the world; doing his own things as nobody’s business. He didn’t have any clue what I was trying to communicate with him. 

After all I didn’t have that much knowledge either. I studied John 3:16 because I heard lots of testimonies how God called people to Him with that one verse. So that was the verse I used to quote to him every time I spoke with him about Christ; thinking that the verse itself would zap and change him into a person of Christ. 

Then I got to one crossing road where I knew I had to choose between the man I loved and the God I openly and publicly fell in love with. So, my heart was torn apart, splitting into two. Both my Berhan and my Christ didn’t use any force to keep me to themselves. Both of them were saying the same thing. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

Then I literally started crying every day. I knew my Berhan couldn’t fake a thing. He was and still is an honest man. He told me countless times that he wouldn’t change himself so that he would fit into my Christian man description. 

I’m very glad he didn’t. Well, in that darkest hour of my life, I asked my Berhan to go with me to church to ask for help because I didn’t have any direction. I was totally confused. 

Wow, the day we asked for help was the most blessed day of our lives. We made a phone call and made appointment with the senior pastor of the church we are still going to. 

To make a very long story short, we went to the office the day the pastor told us to meet with him. And guess what? We didn’t know that God had invited Himself to that meeting too. God met my love, my Berhan in an amazing way. Nobody but I could have seen the change on my man’s face. His conversion was an instant one.

After pastor told my Berhan about Christ and prayed for him, he prayed for both of us. And he simply said, “I want you guys now to go and get your marriage certificate. Then call your friends and relatives and come to me on this day. And I will bless your union before God and others.”

We did as he told us. We didn’t miss a thing from the instruction he told us to follow. You see, at that point, for us, it was a matter of life and death. We took his instruction as if it was a prescription to be saved from hell. 

I knew that devil was trying his best to snatch me away from the life God had for me. I was sure of that but didn’t have any detail how to wage war against the devil or anything. Fear consumed me. I used to cry a lot, saying to God, “Please, LORD, don’t leave my Berhan”.

We got our marriage certificate and went to the church and pastor and other four or five people from the church waited for us with a beautiful cake. May the LORD fill His house with people like them who will be there to help those who are in confusion and darkness! 

There were total sixteen people, including my Berhan and I. We didn’t know that many Christians at that time. We know only three or four people from that church, the church now, after seventeen years, we know pretty much everybody, praise God!

Pastor wore his gown and shared a short story about marriage. And the other minister sang a beautiful worship song. Then pastor asked everybody to stretch their hands while he laid his hands on us. (Imagine even from those sixteen people, some of them were not believers.)

Oh, I will never ever forget that day. Our joy was overflowing. It felt like all the heavenly angelical beings were invited. The LORD Jesus was there. Even though I didn’t have that much understanding, I knew the Holy Spirit was among us. We had a wonderful visitation of God. 

This is the only way I can explain what I felt that day: I thought God had given me another born-again experience. (I’ve received Jesus Christ as my personal LORD and Savior in India but I didn’t learn anything about how to grow in Spirit and the Word. I didn’t have any depth of knowledge about spiritual life but I knew I couldn’t follow Christ and lead a sinful lifestyle at the same time. I knew I had to choose one. I knew that I couldn’t grow in Christ without leading a life which was worthy of my calling, which is “a daughter of God".) 

After my Berhan came to the LORD, my life took off. He was a Gentile like today and became an Israelite the next day. Wow, when God moves, who can stop Him???? When God chooses to save us, who can say to Him, “Why are You saving them?” No one!

Then my husband and I took class together with other new converts to learn what it means to be a Christian; basic things about salvation and eternal life. Then we took those two classes about discipleship. 

Berhan immediately took his leadership position as a husband with grace and favor from God. I listened to his direction. He calmly said to me one day, “My Love, wedding is not marriage. We do all those things if we want to, when time permits. Let’s give first priority to the things of God and everything will fall into its place.”

I know, my Berhan became the most “HOT” believer ever, praise God! God began blessing him with an understanding of the Word in the most fascinating way.

Then as my Berhan said, everything fell into its place. After six years, after we had our three kids, we went to Addis, Ethiopia. We made appointment with a professional cameraman to take wedding pictures in his studio and out in the park. Early in the morning, I went to a makeup artist to dress me and make me look like a bride. Our flower girl and boys were our three kids. We didn’t have any other thing. We took the most beautiful pictures we could ever imagine. 

Since there was no wedding, only picture, there was no stress and we were in a vacation spirit. Our families were all over our kids and so they pretty much took them from us and left us alone. That was another blessing from God (you will understand what I’m talking about if you are raising kids in America). We had, God-planned-amazing-honeymoon ever. Now you can see on those pictures the anointing and the joy we had at that time and I’m just sharing one of my favorite pictures with this note at the end.

When we were done with the cameraman, we came to my family where they threw us a wonderful lunch party, not an exaggerated one. Then we left, leaving everybody there, including our kids. We actually forgot that we had kids, if you know what I mean. We had the most blessed and wonderful six weeks’ vacation ever.

Why am I sharing this story with you? 

Well, I am writing this to those of you out there who are struggling to follow steps so that you do everything as others did; so that people will accept you; so that your life and marriage will be considered as a perfect one by others.

I know some people are postponing their marriage until they make enough money to throw a wedding party which everybody is expecting them to do. While they strive to fulfill the dream of their families and friends, they miss the blessing of God. I’m neither against wedding nor trying our best to make our families (especially our parents) and friends happy. All I’m saying is this: If we are trying to do as others expect us to do at the cost of disappointing God, we lose both ways. Our families and friends won’t be happy to see us suffer because of sin. You see, sin brings sufferings to our lives. And our families and friends won’t be happy to see us suffer and at the same time be alienated from the blessed life God has for us.

So, I’m writing this for you who may be living in sin thinking that you will make it right with God one day after the wedding. Oh, Precious, sex before marriage is sin. It is a killer. It brings suffering, destruction, death, pain, despair, so on and so forth. There is no way around it. It kills you from the inside out. Sin destroys you and your life. It takes away the joy of life from you. It stains your life and your future life. Sex before marriage is not as it is portrayed on movies and TV shows. It’s a serious sinful act which brings detrimental consequences to your life.

So if you are trapped between two worlds, decide to choose the way of God today, which is NOW. 

Please, don’t ever think that you are reading this by accident. 

Please it is not an accident that you end up on Listen to me please. God is pursuing you through this post. Your God has the best in mind for you; YOU, His child. He wants to give you what is best for you. Don’t settle for “the crumbs” of this world while God has “the whole fresh and sweet bread”, baked only for you. He is still pursuing you so that you do it right; so that sin won’t snatch you away from His blessing; so that He will pour out His blessings on you and your offspring. 

People may not be happy with your decision today but they will be blessed by it tomorrow. Others might be able to through a wedding party and everything, as it should be but if it is not going to happen for you, it is okay. Move on to the next right thing you should do so that you make your life right with God.

Rest assured in this: You will never be put to shame for choosing the way of God. God says, “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2:25). That is exactly what He did for my Berhan and I and He will do the same for you. Whenever it costs us a price to shun sin away from our life, we will be paid in full by God because God is not a debtor to any man. 

That woman with an issue of blood was not supposed to be among the people of her city. She knows very well her issue is addressed in the law. She is supposed to be outside the city, away from the people. Oh, but this woman heard that Jesus was passing by. So, she decided to risk her life; because if she is found by others, she will be stoned to death according to the law. And if she had an issue of blood for twelve years, her smell could have given her up to the people who could have mercilessly put her to death at the sight. 

The woman risked it all and came where Jesus was. She stretched her arm and touched him. Jesus didn’t put her to shame by saying, 

“Okay, silent for one moment please. This woman has an issue of blood and here she is among you righteous people. And let me tell you why she has been stricken with this disease. She slept with - - -”. 

Oh, no, He didn’t say that. Precious, Jesus said this to her: 

“Be of good cheer, daughter; your faith has made you well.” (Matthew 9:20 - NKJV) 

Do you know which part of this verse makes me jump from my seat? By the way Jesus addressed her! He said, DAUGHTER!

Beloved child of God, choose Christ and His Ways now and you shall never be put to shame! Go to court and get married. Forsake your sinful ways. Go to the church near you and seek help. Don’t go around and say “Nobody does like that these days; the church is full of evil people”. No, God always has His people. He sometimes put people only to minister to you and you may never see them again. Just be humble and say, “Please help me. Please rescue me.” God brought a Savior from Nazareth. Don’t ever forget that! God will arrange the way for you to find the path of life but only when you decide to get up to find it.

Read 49114 times Last modified on Tuesday, 06 May 2014 10:35
Meskerem T. Kifetew, PharmD

Married for 17 years with one man, have three kids; living in Maryland, USA; starting January 2014, I gave my full time to the ministry God has given me (Appeal for Purity); I teach in the area of sexual purity/immorality for singles and married couples at different places, in Amharic and English; I teach about sexual intimacy for married couples; I am one of the family ministry leaders in my church of 19 years (International Ethiopian Evangelical Church in DC); I'm licensed pharmacist in the state of Maryland since 2007 but currently I'm focusing on more counseling, writing and publishing CDs and DVDs in the area of my focus, which is sexual purity/immorality. My book, Beyond the Fairytale, will soon be on the market (Jan. 2015).

Website: Email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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Semayawi Thought is an online magazine published in Amharic and English, focused on contents to spiritual and personal growth.